"I'm the King of Absurd!"

Shhh! This is TOP SECRET!
Through a secret technology called CINEWARP, we are able to bring you movie news (pause for dramatic effect) from the future!

Don't ask us how we got it (cause again, it's TOP SECRET!) but here is an article from the year 2097. Enjoy. . .

BREAKING NEWS from the year 2097!
A diary was discovered in an old box today that might prove to be what people have suspected and debated about for years: The true reason that "Titanic" was a big hit at the turn of the millennium.

For those who aren't history buffs, the film "Titanic" won 11 Academy Awards (a big award show that aired on Television Sets naming the best films and actors of that year.) almost one hundred years ago. It won 'Best Picture', 'Best Director', and was nominated for 'Best Actress' and 'Best Supporting Actress'.

No one has ever been able to figure out why. Until now!

Here is an excerpt from the diary of an eleven-year-old girl, written in the year 1997:

"We are going to see Titanic again this weekend! I can't wait! I love Leo! I might get a dog. I'm going to name him Jack, for Jack Dawson. Talk to you tomorrow! Love, Mrs. DiCaprio."

That's right. It seems that a young actor named Leonardo DiCaprio - missing from the records as having much to do with the film - was the secret to the success. He was not nominated for any awards, and was left out of most recorded press coverage, but it seems this young man drew young girls and their families to the theaters over and over again. The writer of the diary went to see the film 5 times in theaters and new evidence is coming forward that projects some might have seen it 20 or 25 times.

Now 111-years-old, we reached the young girl for a comment. Here's what she had to say:

"I always thought it was sad that he didn't get any recognition for what he did for the film. They really threw him under the bus. But I never was a big fan of any of his other movies. He seemed to be chasing that Oscar the rest of his life."

An "Oscar" was another word for an "Academy Award" because the statue they won resembled a golden god named 'Oscar' that many people from West America worshiped.

So, there you have it, the secret your great-grandmother wouldn't own up to. The biggest blockbuster to date in 1997 was fueled by a baby-faced kid who got none of the credit.


Fran said...

aw, poor Leo. =(