BERNERD REPORTS:
Smallville: a fluffy teen-drama as shallow as they come with lots of "teen" problems and school crushes and entire episodes dedicated to prom - and stuck right smack dab in the middle? One of the most amazing performances of the human struggle between good and evil. Michael Rosenbaum has certainly been making his own show for the past seven years. A show much darker and human than anything else on television (or in film for that matter). Forget the moral dilemmas in the contrived FX drama The Shield, the story of Lex Luthor's childhood and branch into power holds some of most heart-wrenching scenes I have ever witnessed. If you didn't end up hating Clark and all the other bumbling "good people" in Smallville who let Lex slip through their fingers, then there is something wrong with you. I wish John Wayne was around to punch Jonathan Kent right in the face.

The W. B. or whatever initials they are now using, should release a version of Smallville that holds only the important Lex scenes. If edited well it could actually be formed into a very powerful movie. A movie that should win Mr. Rosenbaum a lot of awards. He certainly has my vote.

So, as Michael Rosenbaum leaves the show (now entering it's eighth season), I would just like to thank him for the years he put in. It was a sad and painful ride, but beautiful in it's perfection. Thank you.

BERNERD REPORTS:
Last night I watched a show about science, and how it is pushing into things previously termed "para-normal". Invisibility; teleportation; regeneration; cloning; mind-reading; all possible now in the hands a few quirky scientists who border on the insane while a street-smart law-officer helps propel them in the right direction. The title of this show? Eureka!

Did anyone else catch this blatant rip off? J. J. Abrams apparently spent his summer watching seasons one and two of the Sci-Fi series and thought to himself - "How can I take this clever, fun, new show and rub my stink all over it?" He takes out all the funny and replaces it with flat boring characters held in our memory only by the "secrets" they are hiding. Is anyone else prepared to join another Lost train, heading toward a bunch of questions with no answers? I don't know about you, but I canceled my Tivo subcription. Can't really take anymore of less-butch (and far less likable) Laura Prepon palling around with Fat Dawson's Creek and King Denethor. I think I'll just stick with Eureka.

Am I being too critical? Check out some comparisons:

Eureka's BIG corporate science company is called? Global Dynamics.
Fringe's BIG corporate sciene company is called? Massive Dynamics.

Eureka's scientists are? Delving into things previously considered impossible while putting the town in danger.
Fringe's scientist is? Delving into things previously considered impossible while putting the WORLD in danger.

Eureka's crazy scientists are held in check by? A street smart sheriff with a work ethic.
Fringe's crazy scientist is held in check by? A street smart FBI agent with a work ethic.

Eureka's problems are solved by? The dumb sheriff putting his trust in the science and being brave enough to actually do what the scientists just talk about.
Fringe's problems are solved by? The head strong FBI Agent putting her trust in the science and being brave enough to actually do what the scientist just talks about.

The only difference I can see is that Eureka would be classified as sci-fi comedy, while Fringe is more of a 'drama'. If your definition of drama is: A) a show lasting one hour in which no jokes are cracked - unless they are sarcastic ones driven by a character's disgust with the situation. B) characters are solemn and stressed C) the color palate is dark and bleak - rain and snow are encouraged and D) camera angles are rough and handheld.

This brings me to my second point, a realization I had last night while watching the never-ending pilot.

J. J. Abrams HATES People
He enjoys putting them in lonely, impossible situations and then watching as they struggle. He is more like a God to his characters than a friend. Who in the long running Lost does J. J. love? I think he enjoys being the unseen force that propels his characters toward one disaster after the next. Look at the difference between his characters and, say, Joss Whedon's characters. Joss may be Boss, but he certainly loves his characters - which in turn makes you love them. Who is Olivia Dunham J. J.? And why should I love her? I don't think he could answer that. . .

So save yourself the trouble and just watch Eureka. It's fun, smart and you'll definitely love it's characters. Good luck Fringe. I will throw-up if you last longer than Fire-fly.